![]() ![]() Generally speaking, most people retreat from being fully alive adults in order to avoid reawakening the unconscious, as well as conscious, feelings of terror surrounding death. The more we value life, the more we have to lose in death. Paradoxically, as men and women give special value to their lives, experience unusual successes, and find new and unique gratifications, they tend to suffer more death anxiety. As people sense time passing, are confronted with sickness, frustrations in life and reminders of death, they fear about their mortality. Death fears are triggered by both negative and positive events. This makes them more cognizant of the fact that their own unresolved dependency needs from childhood will remain unfulfilled.ĥ. In general, adults carry a heavier dependency load, as they are looked to for direction, support and actual parenting. Adults have more responsibilities for self and others. This is related to the primitive evolutionarily based threat of being separated or ostracized from the tribe, which is emotionally equivalent to being left to die.Ĥ. In addition, there is a fear of being different or standing out from the crowd. Knowing ourselves as independent, authentic adults makes us acutely aware of painful existential issues. These habit patterns become addictive and long lasting.ģ. Painful events in childhood often lead to suppression, dissociation and varying degrees of retreat into fantasy processes. Preference for fantasy as a defense mechanism over reality considerations. When we are anxious or frightened, we tend to reconnect to dependency bonds.Ģ. These types of separation experiences can arouse a sense of loss related and fear. This occurs as we mature, form a new and different identity, choose our own path in life and establish new relationships. Symbolic separation from parents and other individuals who have offered some sense of security. There are five major aspects to the fear of growing up:ġ. The principle barriers to living an adult existence are the fears associated with becoming adult. I discussed how, to varying degrees, individuals are restricted in their ability to function in an adult mode because of “unresolved childhood trauma and the defenses they form to relieve emotional pain and existential dread.” In this blog, I explore the psychodynamics underlying the tendency to hold onto a child’s perspective despite the emotional turmoil, maladaptation and unhappiness it creates. In a previous blog, “ Living Life as an Authentic Adult,” I briefly described the reasons why so many people operate as children emotionally and refuse to grow up. Defenses, Existential Issues, Featured Author: Dr. ![]()
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